A paperback novel

There's one thing you didn't know about me.
I have a boyfriend.
For most of you, it's probably no big deal, but if you read my recent posts, you'll find this information quite surprising. Or maybe not.
Yes, I've been cheating on him...

We've been together for about five years, and I've never cheated on him before (yes, I was never with another boy, since I've been 13). But...he cheated on me a few times. That was a long time ago, and I forgave him every time (you are free to be gudgmental about this). He's been faightful for about two years now, and our relationship is just great!
So, why did I cheat on him?
Well... There's a boy in our school, that I like, and that likes me. We've known each other for a couple of months, and the first time we kissed, the first time I was unfaightful, was in April, when we went on an 8-day school trip.
It was exciting... He was the first boy I kissed after 5 years (after my bf, ofcourse), and it felt...different. Not great nor bad...just different. And weard in some way. But I didn't regret it, not a minute of it. We were 'a couple' during these 8 days.
When we returned and continued with our classes, it was even wearder. We saw each other sometimes in a hallway, and it was weard  to pass by him and just say 'hi'. But sometimes we kissed... We just set up a meeting, and we kissed...
And then...summer came.
He lives in a city, but I live in a small town about a half an hour from the city... We haven't seen each other the whole summer... Untill September the 1st.
Again, we set up a meeting... This time, nothing happened, just a hug. And it felt nice.
But we continued to chat on-line, and exchange SMS, and the kiss happened again (this was 'the promised kiss' I was telling you about). And It's weard again, because I just don't know what to do. I certanly don't want to break up with my bofriend, but sometimes it happenes that I just have to be with this boy. And most of these times, I 'feed the beast' as I wrote... And it feels great. But the feeling I get after that... The guilt... I start to regret it... But even this feeling lasts only a couple of minutes/hours. Than It's beeing pushed out of my heart by another one, familiar one - lust...
And here we go again... I want him.
I hate this situation I'm in, and I wish that I didn't feel this way! It's frustrating!
Now, we decided not to see each other anymore... We'll stay (just) friends, and that'll be it... And I think (and I'm sure that you're with me on this one) it's a smart decision.
We'll see how it goes...